File this one away as “Too Stupid to Die.” That’s the name of the YouTube channel that this yokel, Zach, uses to post his videos. To say that he’s desperate for his 15 minutes of fame would be an understatement. We’re happy to oblige. After all, he went to a lot of trouble for us to get a decent giggle.

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To begin, let me say this. If you can’t laugh at someone else in abject pain (pain, mind you, that is willfully self inflicted) than this video may not be for you.

It is clear that he’s wearing a bandolier of Black Cats. The loop wraps around his neck, and then around his waist two times. It actually looks like he’s wearing a giant coat, but he’s not. It is cold, and snowing, and that pasty white you see beneath the fireworks is actually his skin.

His vital organs, though, are well shielded by his girth. That said, nothing else is shielded except his eyes. He did have the foresight to wear some eye protection.

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And the spectacle is most amusing. The fireworks are lit by a hapless accomplice (who is probably still laughing now). Zach waits patiently for the fuse to go, then begins dancing. Then flailing.

When the pain becomes too much for him to bear (which is almost instantly) he throws himself into the snow on the ground in a futile attempt to get the fireworks out. Yet anyone who has ever spent some idle time with some fireworks knows there’s no turning back once the fuse is lit.

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The video then ends with a painful look at the aftermath. It is ugly. It is hard to tell just how badly burned he is. There’s quite a bit of blackening of the skin, though that may be carbon residue left behind by the powder, and will likely burn off. Fireworks, though, have a pop that will cause tearing of the skin. I’d expect to see some serious bruising in the wake of this, and some decent burns.

All I know is that he’s going to have a hard time explaining this to his mother. He has a mother, right? What must she think?

About Jackson Ford

Jackson Ford is not a car dealership in Mississippi. Actually it is a car dealership in Mississippi, but this isn't that Jackson Ford. This JF is a proud American, and he drives a Chevy.