Wanna-be Batman Assaults Police Officers in Seattle

This–precisely this–is why so many Americans carry guns. I’m not sure if this could qualify as domestic terrorism, exactly, but it is hilarious.

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Some whack-a-mole in Seattle went to a bar Monday night. After some sort of altercation with a bouncer, this nut-job produced a spear-like-thing. Perhaps it was a spear. The police described is a blade attached to the end of a stick, which–last time I checked–qualified as a spear.

My guess is that the bouncer had a pretty good clue that this idiot wasn’t all there, and wouldn’t let him in the club. Perhaps it was because he was carrying something that looked like a spear. Whatever. The bouncer held him at bay until the cops arrived.

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When the cops showed up, the dude ran. The police, as police are wont to do, gave chase. Their efforts at apprehending this scofflaw were hampered when he threw a “sharp, black, Batman-style throwing star” at a police SUV.

Yes. This is the “sharp, black, Batman-style throwing star” he hurled. And it stuck. My assumption is that it disabled the vehicle. Check out this picture.

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This is not just any throwing star. This wasn’t some coked up mall-ninja, no. It had to have been Batman.

Need proof? Well, we know that Batman has a rocky relationship with the authorities. That must have been why he ran. And the “Batarang” stuck in the front end of the SUV. Only THE Batman knows how to actually make these super deadly stars actually stick. Look to the lower left of the license plate.

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Or maybe it wasn’t Batman. Batman would have gotten away. The police arrested a 23-year-old man on a felony assault charge.

Now seems like as good a time as any to basque in the glory of the Bat. So check out the videos below. The new Lego Batman Movie trailers are good clean fun. I’ll even throw in the old Adam West Batusi scene for good measure. It gets really good about 2 minutes in.

About Jackson Ford

Jackson Ford is not a car dealership in Mississippi. Actually it is a car dealership in Mississippi, but this isn't that Jackson Ford. This JF is a proud American, and he drives a Chevy.