Cat Shoots Owner with 9mm Pistol. Seriously.

Studies have shown that if cats were large enough, they would kill their owners. It seems one feline has decided to not wait for evolution and speed up the process.

Joseph Stanton, of Bates Township in Iron County, was allegedly shot by his pet cat after he left a 9mm handgun on the kitchen table and the cat knocked it off causing it to discharge.


The state police post in Iron River reported that Stanton was shot in the torso and was transported to Iron County Community Hospital.

A spokeswoman at the Iron River Hospital, Michelle Sand, explained that Stanton was indeed treated there for a gunshot injury and was transferred to Marquette General Hospital for additional treatment.


But there is conflicting information as a representative of the Marquette General Hospital, Marcie Miller, said there was no record of the patient by that name receiving treatment at their hospital.

As expected, people had a field day with the news of a man being shot by his cat. One Twitter user tweeted, “If only there were good cats with guns.” While another user tweeted, “All you cat haters, they’re coming for YOU now.”


A plethora of news outlets tried to reach Stanton, but as you might imagine, he’s in no mood to talk. State police inform the public that Stanton was cooking at his stove when the cat knocked the loaded gun off the kitchen counter behind him.


Fun Fact: In Wisconsin, lawmakers have made it legal to shoot your cat if you deem it necessary. Like if the cat has a gun pointed at you? The cats in Michigan must have caught word of this law and Stanton’s pet decided to take action first.


It seems the that the notion that cats are smarter than dogs is true. After all, have you ever heard of a dog shooting one of their owners?'

About Jefferson Garfield