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The newest propaganda video from ISIS (or ISIL, Daesh, Islamic State, nutjob terrorists, whatever you want to call them) purports to show their version of Navy SEALs.

The slickly produced video features more splashing water than a two year old in a bathtub and enough slow motion to make the director of the movie 300 jealous.

The effect of the slow motion is almost enough to make the “SEALs” seem competent. Almost.

“Just looking at the way they moved, the way they held their weapons, made me laugh,” says James Dever, a retired Marine Sergeant Major who spent 15 years with 1st Force Reconnaissance. “But I’m not a young person who knows nothing about skilled combat.”

For those wondering, splashing water makes a lot of noise and a lot of ripples – two things considered less than ideal in maritime special operations.

Other highlights of the video include the ISIS Advanced Doggy Paddle (at 2:00 in the video) and the Most Oblivious Guard in the World (2:20).

Here’s how America does an advertisement for real Navy SEALs:

If you’re looking for footage of American Navy SEALs in action, enjoy:

About Hunter Roosevelt

Hunter’s political beliefs are always evolving. Not really. He can be seen supporting whichever side has the hotter women so it’s almost always the conservative side (have you seen the hippy chicks? Gross).

When he’s not writing he’s celebrating the resurgence of his beloved Florida Gators and New York Mets.