April 1st, 2015 – It’s an arachnophobe’s worst nightmare. Scientists say they have discovered a new species of spider which has developed a set of wings allowing it fly distances of up to 100 yards at a time at speeds of around 15 miles per hour. Worse yet, the spider, named Ungoliantitis (after an evil, ancient spider in the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings lore) is said to be venomous (as all spiders are to some extent) and could present a harm to humans.

Like many previously unknown species of spiders and insects it is believed that Ungoliantitis originated in the South American rainforest. However, due to increased logging and deforestation, the spider is now moving north at a rapid pace.

screen_shot_2015-03-22_at_10.56.29_pm The venom is said to be similar to that of black widow spiders which causes violent, painful, full-body muscle cramps. There is currently no antivenom, but scientists are working on developing one.

As of today, April 1st, researchers are still trying to determine the range of the spider, but preliminary reports say the following map represents the possible habitat of Ungoliantitis. Scientists are asking anyone who encounters one of these arachnids to report the sighting to the Unified Spider Registry to help map the expansion and range of the species.


As of today, April 1st, scientists in North America are officially warning the public to be on the lookout for these possibly dangerous creatures. You can read more about this creature here.

Sounds like you might need to enter this flamethrower giveaway to make sure you can defend against this new threat.

Happy April Fools’ everyone! If you haven’t figured it out, this post was our 2015 April Fools joke. If you’re seeing this on a later date, it probably means someone shared it without reading the article first!

About Reagan Wilson

Reagan enjoys all things political. After realizing that neither of the current mainstream political parties encompass his beliefs he awaits the emergence of a true small government party.